Blogging is My Mid-Life Crisis

So, I think I’m in the middle of a mid-life crisis.

AND IT’S BEEN AWESOME.

Mostly. Mostly awesome. There are definitely some down sides to this whole thing I’m going through. Aging, obviously. I’m not thrilled with the fact that the elasticity of my skin no longer defies gravity like it used to. There are some less superficial reasons why riding through my mid-life crisis has been difficult, though. We’ll get to those in a little bit.

First, I want to start with the good. Because there is so much good.

As you know, I’ve rediscovered my love for writing after a nigh-20 year hiatus. Since December 2017, I’ve written a novel, which I’m trying to get published, and I’ve started this blog, which began with a “hey, let’s try it!” attitude and has since escalated into a full-blown obsession.

Writing has re-awakened me from a dormancy I didn’t even know I was in. I’m now in my mid-thirties, and while I love so much of my life, everything was starting to feel a bit…stagnant. Each day like the other, nothing really setting my brain afire. I’m grateful for everything I have, but everyone feels their lives are a bit mundane at times, and that’s where I was at.

Then, I started writing again. And, everything changed.

First, it was with my novel. Finally writing a full-length novel is one of my greatest accomplishments, and something I was terrified I would never be able to do. Crossing that off my bucket list has given me a confidence I sorely needed in myself, and it has reminded me of what I am truly capable of. I’ve written a story completely from my own head, and I happen to love the story I’ve written. I also strongly believe that, when the time is right, the rest of the world will love the story, too.

Until then, I have my blog.

MY BLOG. *all the heart eyes* Blogging has fulfilled me in a way I never even considered a year ago. It not only allows me to write every day, it challenges me to push the boundaries of my creativity in new and exciting ways.

My head is constantly filled with ideas these days — posts I want to write, books I am reading, recipes I want to make, ideas for new novels I want to write, ways to network with other bloggers, etc. In addition to writing, I now spend time thinking about marketing and promotional techniques, which can be exhausting but is also pretty interesting to learn. It’s nice to feel my brain dusting itself off and grinding its gears again.

I wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about the blog. I go to bed thinking about the blog. I dream about the blog. Even though I try to tamp it down, I’m pretty sure I talk a lot about the blog. (Side note: thank you, family and friends, for putting up with me in what perhaps is the most me-centric phase of my life.)

Blogging and writing has consumed my life, and I am so freakin’ happy about it. I feel inspired, motivated, and challenged for the first time in years. To sum it up, I feel alive.

Some people have affairs or buy little red sportscars to feel rejuvenated during a mid-life crisis. I, however, have decided that writing and blogging is all I need. (Both my husband and my bank account are grateful.)

The only problem is — and here’s where the down side of the mid-life crisis comes in — I want to work on my book and/or my blog all. the. time.

At this point, writing and blogging is just one small aspect of my life. Now that I’ve rediscovered my love for writing, everything else (at least, occupationally) kinda pales in comparison to it. As happens with a typical mid-life crisis, I’ve become obsessed with something new and have subsequently lost some interest in what I’ve been doing for the past, oh, 15 years or so. (Insert parallel to “man leaves wife of 20 years for 20-year old secretary” cliche here).

It’s kind of like that quote from When Harry Met Sally — which is a fantastic movie, by the way, if you’ve somehow never seen it. I’m talking about when Billy Crystal rushes into the New Year’s Eve party and says, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

This is pretty much how I feel about writing these days. I want to spend the rest of my life writing. Just like Billy Crystal in front of Meg Ryan, I’m standing in front of my dream with hope-filled eyes and a heart full of love, just waiting for the moment I can fall happily into its open arms. I want a life that allows me to write for a living, and now that I’ve come to that blinding realization, I want that life to start as soon as possible.

However, that point in time is definitely not here yet. I’m still working hard to get my manuscript published, and I’m blogging in my free time around my full-time job. I feel extremely lucky for being able to do as much writing and blogging I currently do, but…I want more. Doing what I love has made me greedy, and it’s made me impatient. I’m incredibly excited for what the future may hold, but with that excitement comes a certain amount of bitterness about not being able to do what I love doing all day, every day.

As I’ve been researching more about blogging, I’ve come across a lot of similar stories; apparently, a lot of people start blogs because they’re unfulfilled by their 9-5 lives. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one experiencing this particular mid-life crisis.

I recently saw an inspirational quote on the Boss Girl Bloggers Instagram account that I follow: “She designed a life she loved.” This quote really resonated with me. She “designed” — not “created with the snap of her fingers,” not “built within a few days/weeks/months.” She designed a life she loved. Designing takes time; it requires careful planning, consideration, trial and error, patience, and the daily conviction that every step will have been worth it when you get to the end result.

Keeping this quote in mind greatly tempers the bitterness that may creep in here and there, and it definitely bolsters the inspiration and excitement I feel about all that I am currently doing and have planned for the future. I am designing a life I love, and every moment of that process counts.

Are you currently designing a life you love? Or, are you experiencing a mid-life crisis that is full of creativity and inspiration? I hope you’ll share below!