Some variation of the question “What’s it like being a writer?” inevitably comes up when I tell people what I do in my spare time. As a writer, you’d think I’d have a brilliantly succinct answer ready at a moment’s notice. However, since delving back into the arts, I’ve learned that the writer life is not so easily summarized.
Most individuals, when asking the question with gleaming and sometimes envious eyes, expect to hear someting along the lines of “Being a writer is wonderful. Exhilarating. Magical.”
And it is. IT IS. It’s all the good words that inspire creativity and wonder, awe and accomplishment.
But it’s also a lot of negative ones: Exhausting. Nerve-wracking and stressful. Emotionally draining. Isolating.
And that’s just writing a novel. Don’t even get me started on writing a query letter!
Let’s rewind: I spent all of last summer writing the first draft of Desserted. When I wasn’t writing, I was devouring writing advice and querying advice videos a mile a minute. It was a wonderful time spent deeply immersed in my craft, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it.
This summer, though? This summer has been a lil’ different – and I’m actually really glad.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, I love writing. I’ve wanted to “be a writer” since I was six years old, and although the inspiration to write abandoned me for a good 15 years, when it came back, it came roaring back, and now I wonder how I ever went without writing for so long.
Just because I love it, though, doesn’t mean I don’t get a little tired of it.
Sometimes.
Just a teensy-weensy bit. Is that okay to say? Of course it is.
I’ve now written two novels, and working on each one was simultaneously one of the most amazing and difficult things I’ve ever done. When I wrote my first novel, I remember being surprised by how much work it was. Functioning at such a high creative level, day after day, week after week, month after month… it’s glorious, but it’s not easy.
And, even after you get your story down in that magical first draft? You quickly realize that was the easy part. Because after the drafting stage comes revisions…and editing…and more revisions…and more editing. And critique partner feedback. Editing. Revisions. Beta reader feedback. Revisions. GAH.
Since the pandemic left me with nowhere to be in 2020 and part of 2021, I worked rather leisurely on Desserted. Completing the first draft took about four months; editing and revising it took another *gulp* eight. By the time I started querying agents in July, I was so ready to be done with Hazel, Michael, Amanda, Lo, and all the other characters from Desserted who’ve been living with me – in my heart, in my head, in what feels like every corner of my house and aspect of my life – for the better part of a year.
Although I’m currently playing the excruciating Waiting Game as I query literary agents, I have to admit: it feels pretty darn good not to be writing a novel right now.
This summer, I’ve plowed through stories written by other people. (yayyyy!) New releases are coming in fast and furious from my public library, and I’m spending a lot of time curled up with a good book. I’ve also managed to get ahead on blog content creation, so these past few months have been a lot of “summertime and the livin’ is easy.”
With no novel to work on, there’s no guilty conscience about not using every spare minute I have to write; no looming, self-imposed deadline to get revisions done. Even my critique partners have gone quiet, so I don’t have any pages to edit. It’s just me and relaxation and time with my husband and cat and grilling during the day and ice cream cones at night and day trips to the water and relaxing in the garden and seeing friends and family for the first time in 18 months.
It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Not having a novel to write is… freeing.
Unsettlingly so, actually. Like, what’s it mean that I love not doing what I love doing?
As with all things, one needs a break. I definitely need to take vacation time from my “real job,” and while writing is wonderful, it’s also hard work. It shouldn’t surprise me that I need vacations from that lifestyle, too. That’s how I’m choosing to look at it, anyway. I love writing, but I’m learning to appreciate the moments when I’m not writing, too.
And yet…
When I finished Desserted, I promised myself I’d take a year (a whole year!) “off” before starting to write another novel. At the end of June, while peering into the query trenches, this seemed like a good idea. Now, in August, I’m already thinking of shortening that hiatus to six months.
Because the little nudges have started. Whispers of half-formed conversations only I can hear fill my ears, and glimpses of faces I’ve yet to create drift past my mind’s eye on a daily basis. My fingers itch to jot down just a few inspired sentences, to outline a scene – quick, quick! – before the idea dances into the Land of the Forgotten.
Have I started working on Novel #3? No…not really.
Have I typed out some character sketches and basic plot points? Maaaaaaaaybe.
Because this is what it means to be a writer. The urge to create never really leaves you, even when you kinda sorta want it to, even when it goes dormant for awhile. And when that little voice inside you to tells you to start writing… it’s really hard to push it away.
There are nine novels I want to write. At least, there are nine right now. I’ve already written two of them (holy crap), and the ideas for another two didn’t even exist until a few months ago. So, while the would-be WIP number is holding steady at nine, who knows what it could be in a few years.
It’s just a matter of figuring out which story I want to tell next; two of them are battling it out for dominance at the moment. One is another women’s fiction novel, and another is historical fiction/supernatural horror. I’ll let you know what I end up going with…
Hey, all the other writers in the house! Can you relate to any of this? How much time off do you take between writing projects? And do you secretly love the down time between novels, even if you’re itching to work on something as soon as possible?
